interview with dan (Dan Is Not On Fire from youtube)
Phil: hey Dan. wanna' answer some questions?
Dan: no. *laughter*
Phil: penis Dan. penis penis penis. ... what is your favourite frut? and Phil's too.
Dan: is that what the question is?! *laughter*
Phil: i like watermelon
Dan: would i be the most boring person in the world if i say orange?
Phil: yes ... would you let someone eat mushed jaffa cakes off your naked body?
Dan: yeah...
Phil: you don't like jaffa cakes
Dan: ... that's a good point actually
Phil: are you Jesus?
Dan: yes. yes i am.
Phil: i have skittles in my mouth. wanna' taste the rainbow?
Dan: *laughs* are all these questions rude?
Phil: yeah that's what your fans are. you're all sick. mine are all about lions and fluffy kittens
Dan: no they're all the same fans but they just like to express themselves on my channel.
Phil: okay the next question is can i come to your house and touch you in your sleep?
Dan: you can stroke my Cabala while i sleep ... that's not my cabala ... or that you idiot.
Phil: would you bum susan boyle for spare change?
Dan: nooo. i'd rather be the most homeless poor person in the entire world then bum susan boyle thank you very much
Phil: what boxers are you wearing right now?
Dan: i'm wearing orange spotty ones
Phil: what is your opinion on giraffes?
Dan: sexyyyy
Phil: do a giraffe noise
Dan: giraffe's don't make a noise
Phil: they do! they're like *makes giraffe noise*
Dan: how many times have we been over this?
Phil: would you consider having hobbit hair for more than a day?
Dan: NOOOOOOOOOOO!
Phil: have you ever played gay chicken? would you want to play it with Phil on camera for us?
Dan: for 12 billion pounds
Phil: my paypall is amazingphil@gmail.com
Dan: *laughs* shut up
Phil: what's the meaning of life in one word?
Dan: chihuahua
Phil: *coughs*
Dan: DIEEEEEEEEEE
Phil: roses are red, violets are blue, i like spaghetti, let's fuck
Dan: *laughs hysterically*
Phil: link or luigi
Dan: luigi all the way. luigi's awesome
Phil: if you fart and burp at the same time, would it make a vacuum in your stomach?
Dan: *laughs* eumm that's a good question actually. what would happen?
Phil: you'd implode
Dan: an implotion would occur
Phil: what's your favourite beyoncé? *laughs* that was meant to be what's your favourite animal?
Dan: *laughs* what? phil knows how to read! wha'ts your favourite beyoncé!
Phil: do you like beyoncé? 'cz i do. she wants beyoncé's face tattooed to her face. if you like it then you should've put a ring on it. if you like it then you should've put a ring on it. i've got beyoncé's face tattooed onto my face. look!
Dan: great *laughs*
Phil: you, me, professor oak, a pokemon battle, promptly followed by a threesome. you in?
Dan: *laughs* noo. if it was gary oak then i would be IN THERE.
Phil: is your penis really 2 foot long and glowing blue?
Dan: YES. do you want me to get it out?
Phil: yes please
Dan: *gets out blue bottle*
Phil: what do you see in voldermort that makes you want to be him?
Dan: ohh mann just those slits on his nose . you know what i'm thinking when i look at them. mmm ;)
Phil: ... what are you thinking when you look at them?
Dan: it's be great to put rotisery style kebabs in them
Phil: *laughs* have you ever gone skinny dipping?
Dan: course i have! everytime i get in the bath ;D
Phil: who would win in a fight? a darlik or a ninja?
Dan: well obviously a darlik. a ninja would be all HUAAA WOOO WAHHH and a darlik would just be like pzzzt.
Phil: do you smoke?
Dan: NOOOO
Phil: do you play guitar and what guitars do you like?
Dan: i've spent a lot of money on guitars in my time, but i like these ones *picks up several guitar hero guitars*. i did play the piano though. badly.
Phil: what would you do if a girl came up to you and she was all like 'oh my god oh my god oh my god it's dan aaaaaahhhhh!'
Dan: i would kick her in the face :) ... not really. i'd give you hugs :D
Phil: finish this sentence. i want to push a vantaleen lily against a wall and...
Dan: feed her hotdogs!
Phil: what is the last fury thing that you touched
Dan: Phil's mum
Phil: hey! no it wasn't.
Dan: that's what he thinks ;)
:''''D
